The First Phase of The Awakened Somnambulist: This Is The Beginning

This is the ultimate beginning. The rise from darkness. The receiving of the dim light that is entering the cracks. You have been in this hard shell for too long, and once you accept its course, the hardness of the shell is no longer impenetrable. As you learned that you must face reality instead of escaping it, the shell became slightly softer with time. 

Each day, you accepted the state of chaos, lack of control, suffering, and utter disconnection from the world around you. You settled in these emotions. You became aware of what the emotions meant, or at the least, you started discovering and reading into what the emotions were communicating. Something started shifting in you. A sudden drive to break free from your imprisonment and suddenly... life was no longer blurry. 

The Awakened Somnambulist is a concept of self-discovery after experiencing life from a distorted, muddied lens. It is the individual that has been sleepwalking through life, walking through an eternity of moments in which few were reality. If you have suffered severely at a certain point in your lifetime, your nervous system was taught to shield; as a fundamental form of self-protection. All the while, you lost sense of what was true reality – and most of all – you lost the sincere connection to yourself.

Somnambulism, in its meaning, is a sleepwalker, but for the individual suffering from trauma, this state of sleepwalking occurs even when you are awake. 

Awakening happens when you have surrendered to your past with the belief that you must shift your experience of reality to step out of the cycle of sleeplessness and sleepwalking. Even a small particle of understanding the damaging results of this state of mind is the segue to self-actualization. You are waking up from the sleepwalking tendencies. Suddenly, you start seeing real faces, hear real voices, experience the breeze on your skin, the movement in its real pace – but no longer in a blur. It is no longer passing by. You are now a part of this grand, living, breathing, unity. 

I am not suggesting that the awakening is connected to a spiritual awakening –however, it too is possible – since the concept of awakening is breaking the pattern of what once has been. Thus, the sleepwalker shifts into an awakened state. 

You may be still sleepwalking in an awakened state. Only now, you are aware of what is causing you to drift away from your external world into your internal world. With that awareness, you are likely to put effort into becoming present when you sense the disconnection in your environment. You are then presencing yourself.

The disconnection comes from centering yourself, contradictory to presencing yourself. When you are centering yourself, you are grasping for control, either as a way to comprehend the reality you are in or to shut down from reality altogether.

This instinctive need to draw back is not entirely insensible. If there was a time you experienced hurt by the external world and been in situations where you were out of control, centering yourself became the sole action to stay in control. The centering was caused simultaneously as fear and uncertainty ruled your emotional responses, meaning that this was the safe place to be whenever difficult emotions emerged. Due to its association with safety, every time you withdrew, your actions were mistakenly rewarded. This is the complete opposite of connecting to the self. 

It is no wonder that sleepwalkers feel that they are not a part of this world, but merely observing it from a distance. Experiencing it through a filter of non-reality. Not only does this prevent you from experiencing the precious moments in life, but it also sustains you in loneliness. In psychological terms, this disconnect is called dissociation.

I am passionate about this topic because this phenomenon is becoming clearer the deeper I go into reprogramming my fears. I have been disconnected from life as long as I can remember. At one point in my young adult life, I believed that I was not human, but a non-human being observing the world that my physical form was brought in. As if there were too many layers between consciousness and reality. As if they did not exist in the same realm.

Owing to this awakening, I started exploring and reading into the psychology behind dissociation, whilst experimenting on myself to learn how to break free from the somnambulistic patterns. 

This is the message that I want to share with our world. The Awakened Somnambulist is the contrast of two complete opposites that reside in every one of us, only some more or less. It is the doing versus the being. It is the active and the passive; the contrast between asleep and awake. 

On this platform, I will be sharing the discoveries I have made throughout the journey of healing. From psychotherapy, reading self-help books, and intentional exposure to fears, to learning to settle and receive and experience life with ease.

It is no doubt a commitment for a lifetime, as no journey has an ending but leads to another heart-fulfilling adventure. There are setbacks that we embrace and regard with equanimity. No awakening is too small. Even the slightest change can result in breakthroughs.

I have become fond of this proverb written in Dao De Jing: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." When I was younger, I did not believe this. As I have gotten older, I understand that mindful steps are the key to shifting your life. 

By believing that we can heal as a society, I decided to share my words with the world. I am certain that what we give out to the world is what persists in our existence. It is by understanding how interconnected we are that we can experience alternate and higher ways of living. Although I have not made it there yet, I hope that, perhaps, by extending my vision to you, we can together learn and seek clarity in a blissful existence.

The greatest way to truly understand this subject is by reflecting or meditating on it. This can bring up traumatic memories and unresolved pain. Find yourself in a safe physical environment and some time for yourself. Then ask yourself the following questions:

• In what situation am I experiencing the somnambulistic tendencies?

• What emotions was I experiencing before I started disconnecting from my surroundings?

• When was the very first time I withdrew into the somnambulistic state and what caused it?

Thank you for taking the time to read. Please feel free to share your thoughts with me at contact@theawakenedsomnambulist.com so that I can share them with this community. Your reflections bring insight to everyone partaking in your wisdom.

Love,

Aida

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